Arms of God

"Cast yourself into the arms of God
and be very sure that if he wants anything of you,
he will fit you for the work
and give you strength."

(St. Phillip Neri )

Encouraging Encounter

Today I went to 11am Mass at the nearby hospital. Afterward as I saw in the pew, a lady whom we've been aquainted with for some time (although I confess I don't remember her name!) came over to me all bubbly, saying in an excited whisper, "I heard someone say you are thinking of becoming a nun. Is that true?" When I answered in the affirmative, she was all encouragement. "When I heard that, I thought, 'Isn't that just fabulous? She is just so perfect for that!' You are one of the really special people I know, the kind of person that leaves you feeling good when you've seen them."

Needless to say, I was both touched and lifted by the encounter. And it's not the first of its kind...so many have had similar reactions to my discernment. I realize that I am blessed to be the recipient of such affirmation. I know that plenty of young people respond to their consecrated vocation with little support from family and friends. My case is the quite the opposite... there are so many dear souls both supporting and praying for me on this journey. (Just tonight at a wake, a homeschool mother told me her 10-year-old daughter prays for me "by name" all the time!) The support also brings with it a few challenges of its own — there have been times I've faced a bit of worry about not living up to all the expectations. But I realize that fundamentally, the widespread support is a truly great blessing. It's a little like the "community" aspect of a courtship, only a slightly different kind of courtship.

Thank you, Father, for the Mystical Body of Christ.

Butterfly

Thank you all for your prayers! I am doing better. I'd like to share a quote that was timely and encouraging...

Just as the butterfly must wait upon its maker to be transformed, so must we. God is His infinite wisdom has a sovereign and individual plan for the transformation of our hearts and minds. Psalm 27:14 says "Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!" Being transformed is a process, so do not loose heart. "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus."

~from a past issue of the Girlhood Home Companion (Volume 1, Issue 12)

Lord,

I am trying my hardest. Really, I am. But I am weak and tired, and I never knew how thankless serving You could seem to be. I can totally echo Teresa of Avila today..."If this is how You treat Your friends, Lord, no wonder You have so few". I re-consecrate to You the broken, struggling vessel that is me. I trust that there will be an end to the tunnel, a calm in the midst of pain. I trust that You are pruning me for future greatness (You better be!). I trust that though I can't see the why in it all, You can...

~~~

To my readers (if anyone is left reading this neglected blog by now): I'm having an extraordinarily rough day, so could I please petition for your prayers for this tired soul? The main struggle right now has to do with the obstacles I'm facing as a parish catechetical leader. A boost of grace would be a big help. Thank you so much.

~~~

Vocationally, the journey is still in progress. I tell you, He sure does like to max out this trust thing. As in, lead us blindfolded for extended periods of time! But with Him in the driver's seat, I just trust and listen. After all, that is what a handmaiden does. He directs in His time...not mine. In an interesting way, I heard just the other day about a community that I hope to learn more about. I shall try to share more when time allows...

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

~Ecclesiastes 3:11

Funny yet Profound

On Options

I wrote on my other blog about "Daddy-Daughter Date" I had yesterday. After Evening Vespers at the Poor Clares, we ran into a priest whom I haven't seen in a while, but who knew me by name and face (he actually led a retreat I attended about 5 years ago). He's, like, the only priest in our diocese that wears the cassock full-time, which is so neat. But I digress. :)

We chatted briefly, and I requested prayers for my discernment. His brief advice was along the following (I'm paraphrasing best I can remember): "The thing about the young people of today is that they want to keep all of their options open. And then nothing gets done. They're afraid to leave some options behind, but this is necessary for them to carry out the one(s) they are meant to do."

A valuable nugget of advice...

Music and Meaning, Part II

Part I here.

One of the songs on my playlist is "While I'm Waiting", which I heard for the first time in Fireproof. The arrangement is a bit more on the upbeat than the music I generally listen to, but the lyrics and melody have resonated with me greatly. This song has been a great consolation to me in recent months. In many ways, it has become the cry of my heart. I'll let the lyrics speak for themselves...

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

...After all, isn't this is what being a "handmaiden" is all about?

His Mercy

This past Sunday (the Feast of Divine Mercy), after a week filled with many graces, but also with many difficult moments, it was powerful to pray the prayer after the Chaplet of Divine Mercy...

Eternal God, in Whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion, inexhausible,
look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us
that in difficult moments, we might not despair,
nor become despondant,
but with great confidance,
submit ourselves entirely to Your holy will,
which is love and mercy itself. Amen.

It amazes me sometimes how I can pray some prayer plenty of times, maybe even for year, and then it will hit me in a whole new way at a time when it becomes really personally relevant. That prayer, especially the last five lines above, was like a balm to my soul on Sunday. It was exactly what I need to pray and hear at that moment!

"But I will call this to mind,

as my reason to have hope:
The favors of the LORD are not exhausted,

his mercies are not spent;
They are renewed each morning,

so great is his faithfulness.
My portion is the LORD, says my soul;

therefore will I hope in him.
Good is the LORD to one who waits for him,

to the soul that seeks him;
It is good to hope in silence

for the saving help of the LORD."

~Lamentations 3:21-26

(I didn't realize until recently that such a hope-filled passage was in Lamentations... thanks to Sr. M. Franchesca!)

Home

I got home a little while ago...my visit was both very beautiful and very hard. The Lord seems to be rather silent right now, not granting any convictions yet...which has demanded a continual re-entrusting to the work that I know He is doing in and for me, although I can't see or feel it. I definitely can't see the whole picture right now, but have to trust that He can.

I do wish that everyone with any discouragement about the future of the Church could see and know Sisters like those in Nashville. There is most definitely hope for the Church!

I rose at 5:00am with everyone else there, which was very good for me. If I can implement some similar disciplines presently in home life, I know I'll be much benefitted. :)

Prayer Request

He is Risen: Alleluia!

I ask for your prayers in a special way this week... I fly out this morning to spend a few days (today through Friday) with the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia in Nashville, TN! Please pray that the Holy Spirit truly guide my path.

In Easter Joy,
Claire