People seem to focus so much on the future. Our vision is naturally horizontal — looking at the things in front of us (or behind). Some of us fruitlessly dwell on the past, and others (like myself) have the tendency to dwell in our imaginings of the future. What I wish I could do is shift my eyes to a vertical perspective, one that moves along the x-axis of time, but is always fixed on the y-intercept of the present.What I mean is, if we could look upward, focused on God and not on our own fates, our fates won't get messed up by our tainted, twisted selves. We don't live for the future; we live for the infinite God. Our lives shouldn't be directed toward our own pursuits; they should always be in pursuit of Him. I've come to realize that it doesn't matter much what happens to me as long as I am in union with God when it happens.I came across this passage when I was re-reading The Screwtape Letters for my previous post, and I think it explains the "present" concept brilliantly:
The humans live in time, but [God] destines them to eternity. He therefore, I
believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself and to
that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at
which time touches eternity. Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have
an experience analogous to the experience which [God] has of reality as a whole;
in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them.
Recently, I've been faced with many "coming of age" decisions, and to be honest, I've struggled a lot with entrusting them to God. But He has given me a great confidence because, even when I feel I don't know what to do with my life, I know that my life should belong to Him no matter what I do. I try to embrace that knowledge because it gives me purpose in the present.
So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or
'What are we to wear?' All these things the pagans seek. Your Heavenly Father
knows that you need them all. But seek ye first the kingdom (of God) and his
righteousness, and all these things will be given to you besides.
On a bigger scale, for the last 5 years I have wondered and prayed about my "vocation," whether I should serve God within a family, or consecrate my whole self as my patron St. Cecilia did. I have a deep attraction to both lives, and I have come to realize it is because they both have the same call - to live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up as a sacrifice for us. All lives have this same call, and when we answer it, we are fulfilled in the deepest part of our souls.
Our vocation is LOVE, and we are called to it NOW.
* * *
Amen. Now and forever!